venerdì 16 marzo 2012

THE STRUCTURE OF INTOLERANCE (by Michael Hall -- Neuro-Semantics)

When you speak your mind, you say what you exactly think about a subject regardless of whether others will agree with you or not. Sometimes this State, this behaviour can drive you straight on the right way, but some other times not...


Riots in Afghyanistan!  Dozens of Afghanistans killed in the riots, many more hurt, wwo young American soldiers killed ... and why?  Because someone burned a book.  My first thought was, “Give me a break!  Are we back in the 15th Century?  Books are books, paper printed in ink recording some message.”  Why kill because someone disagrees with you?  Why riot because you dislike someone else’s opinion?  Why international conflict over differing understandings about religion?

Oh yes, intolerance.  That’s the driving factor that is turning a disagreement around an opinion into this level of a problem.  And where is this intolerance coming from?  People confusing their mental maps with the territory.  Someone somewhere is thinking that their “thoughts” about something is the ultimate reality.  Silly people.

But, of course, we all have done it.  And that’s because we all came through the “concrete thinking stage” in our cognitive development as children.  This describes one of the stages of cognitive (thinking) development from Developmental Psychology and one that you can see any day of the week in a 5 to 8 year old child.
They know what they know!  If they think it, that’s what it is!  Period.  End of story.  “If you don’t see it my way, you are wrong, bad, of the devil, going to hell, I hate you, leave me alone!”

This is the structure of intolerance:
“My view of reality is right; everybody else’s that differs with mine is wrong, bad, malicious, hateful, sinful.”  And if your view is like that, then it needs to be stopped, destroyed, killed.  And if you are promoting something that needs to be stopped, destroyed, and killed, then you need to be stopped, destroyed, and killed.

So what can we do.  Afghan President Karzai called for calm after the incident at Bagram Air Base where copies of the Koran were found burned.  The Government of Afghanistan have tried to stop the rioting and today shot a 12-year old boy.  And yet for the past 3 days, the call for calm has not quelled the protests that have boiled over in Afghanistan.  Moslem leaders have also called for calm at Friday prayers.  And while this is good and admirable, it is also symptomatic.  That is, it is not dealing with the cause, it is only dealing with a resulting symptom.

What is the cause?
The cause is the kind of thinking and mental framing that sees something one does not like, approve, and believe in as something that gives me the right to violently hurt and punish another person.

The source of the problem is the state of intolerance and the cure for intolerance is tolerance— to recognize, accept, and even appreciate that people differ in their understandings and beliefs.  The problem is not difference itself, but our attitude andresponse to such differences:


Ø    Do others have the right to differ from us?
Ø    Do others have the right to be wrong?
Ø    Do I have the right or the power to enforce others to see things my way?
Ø    Will I accept differences in understandings and beliefs?
Ø    Will I give others the right and the power to believe according to their conscience?
Ø    Will I release my need to force others to see things and do things my way?
Ø    Will I allow others to do whatever they want to do with books, even burn them?

The point is this— the problem isn’t the burning of any written materials or books.  Apologizing for that, as Presidents Obama and Karzai did misunderstands the real problem and assumes that “burning a book” is the problem.  It is not.  The problem is intolerance which arises from people not getting beyond the childish thinking of confusing a mental map with the territory.  The problem is trying to force others to conform to our beliefs.

Meaning and performance— that’s the analysis we use in Neuro-Semantics to understand human experiences.  As long as the meanings of “my way or the highway,” “I have the right to force you to see and do things my way and if you don’t to punish you or kill you,” then the performance of rioting, killing, etc. will occur.  It’s a frame game: with that frame (of mind, of meaning) you set the rules for that game— the Game of Intolerance.

How do we change the Game?  By changing the frame!
So let’s start with ourselves!   Let’s change our own frames about trying to control the beliefs, understandings, and behaviors of others.  These things are outside our area of control.  Let’s set the frame of respect that allows, accepts, and tolerates the right and power of others to act according to their beliefs as long as it does not impose upon others.  With that as a foundation, we can then begin discovery conversations to seek first to understand the other’s views and seek to influence them without the need to control them.  And in the process, all of us will probably change and becoming more humanly kind and understanding.


L.  Michael Hall, Ph.D. 

Neuro-Semantics homepage

Everyone as best as he can!
Have Joy
Giannicola

CERCA TRA LE CATEGORIE

Neuro-Semantica (726) Self-Actualization (701) leadership (599) ZETETESNEWS (524) Giannicola De Antoniis Bacchetta (462) Creativitá e Innovazione (416) VIDEO (293) FRASE DELLA SETTIMANA (287) extra (141) Michael Hall (131) LIBRI CONSIGLIATI (98) PNL (85) TED (85) teamwork (83) Creatività e Innovazione (79) HBR (45) politica (44) Borsacchio (43) Abraham Maslow (33) BLESSYOU (29) Alfred Korzybski (20) eventi (18) Seth Godin (17) Peter Senge (15) SBROLLA (15) i libri di Susanna (14) Steve Jobs (13) Albert Einstein (12) Richard Bandler (11) il gioco del cervello (11) Lucia Giovannini (9) John Grinder (8) Virginia Satir (8) solidarietà (8) MED (7) Nicola Riva (7) Paolo Conte (7) Randy Pausch (7) Robert Dilts (7) Roseto Sharks (7) ZETEUCI SU ROSETO.COM (7) basket (7) slideshow (7) Aristotele (6) Gregory Bateson (6) Mr. Selfdevelopment (6) Nelson Mandela (6) Walt Disney (6) 24sec. (5) Carlo Maria CIpolla (5) David Byrne (5) Dragos Roua (5) Fabio Celommi (5) Fritz Perl (5) Henry Ford (5) Louise Hay (5) Pick the Brain (5) Bill Gates (4) David Logan (4) Giuseppe Verdi (4) Google (4) IKEA (4) John Lennon (4) John Wooden (4) Killer-Design-System (4) Leo Babauta (4) Martin Luther King (4) Michael Jordan (4) Milton Erickson (4) Pablo Picasso (4) Richard St. John (4) leggi della stupidità umana (4) social network (4) tutta un'altra vita (4) Charles Darwin (3) Chiara Ippoliti (3) Daniel Goleman (3) Daniel Pink (3) Dante D´Alfonso (3) Derek Sivers (3) Edward G. Muzio (3) Giancarlo Alberti (3) Jung (3) Laura Trice (3) Leonardo da Vinci (3) Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi (3) Napoleone (3) Negoziazione (3) Noam Chomsky (3) Oscar Wilde (3) Richard Branson (3) Sir Ken Robinson (3) Socrate (3) The Beatles (3) Tom Heck (3) William Edwards Deming (3) Winston Churchill (3) monkey (3) Ahmed Hakami (2) Alessia Graziani (2) Alexandre Dumas (2) Ali Luke (2) Alison Gopnik (2) Angelo Cioci (2) Antoine Dufour (2) Astrid Morganne (2) Barack Hussein Obama II (2) Barry Schwartz (2) Bart Kosko (2) Benjamin Franklin (2) Buckminster Fuller (2) Buddha (2) Charles Leadbeater (2) Chris Gardner (2) Claudio Bisio (2) Colin Cox (2) Colin Powell (2) Dalai Lama (2) DesJardins (2) Donald Trump (2) Edward de Bono (2) Facebook (2) Forbes (2) Francesco I (2) François de La Rochefoucauld (2) Gail Brenner (2) Gandhi (2) George Bernard Shaw (2) Harry Potter (2) Hidesaburo Kagiyama (2) Ignazio di Loyola (2) James Hillman (2) Jared Diamond (2) Jeff Bezos (2) Jennifer Martin (2) Jim Collins (2) Jim Rohn (2) Joanne Kathleen Rowling (2) John Kenn Mortensen (2) Katsuya Hosotani (2) Luigi Pirandello (2) Malcolm Gladwell (2) Martin Haworth (2) Matteo Renzi (2) Mihalyi Csikszentmihalyi (2) Napoleon Hill (2) Omraam Mikhaël Aïvanhov (2) Oscar Farinetti (2) Osho (2) Pat Metheny (2) Patrizio Di Marco (2) Philip Zimbardo (2) Ralph Waldo Emerson (2) Rives (2) Sam Leader (2) Seneca (2) Simon Sinek (2) Summerhill (2) Tony Hsieh (2) Tony Robbins (2) Tracy Chevalier (2) Victor Frankl (2) Viktor Frankl (2) Vince Lombardi (2) Voltaire (2) Warren Bennis (2) Wayne W. Dyer (2) Wyatt Woodsmall (2) fun theory (2) il sole24ore (2) starbucks (2) workshop (2) 3M Company (1) ALISSA FINERMAN (1) Aaron Beck (1) Abbe Partee (1) Abramo Lincoln (1) Adam Somlai-Fischer (1) Adrian Reynolds (1) AhnTrio (1) Alan Cohen (1) Alan Fayter (1) Albert Ellis (1) Alberto Bagnai (1) Alessandro Di Fiore (1) Alessandro Manzoni (1) Alex Douzet (1) Alexander Lowen (1) Alexis Ohanian (1) Ali Carr-Chellman (1) Alice Stewart (1) Amellia Barr (1) Amma (1) Amy C. Edmondson (1) Amy Tan (1) Anassagora (1) Anders Ericcksson (1) Andrea Bocelli (1) Andreas Dullweber (1) Andrew Bryant (1) Andrew Grove (1) Andy Hobsbawm (1) Angeles Arrien (1) AnnMarie Thomas (1) Anne Lamott (1) Annie Dickinson (1) Antonio Machado (1) Antonio Maurizio Gaetani (1) Apple (1) Arai Restem (1) Archetipi (1) Arthur Benjamin (1) Arthur Rubinstein (1) Arti Marziali (1) Arun Majumdar (1) Astor Piazzolla (1) BGSA (1) Baba Shiv (1) Baltasar Gracian (1) Baltasar Gracián (1) Barcellona (1) Barrie Davenport (1) Bea Fields (1) Benjamin Disraeli (1) Benjamin Zander (1) Beppe Grillo (1) Bertolt Brecht (1) Bertrand Russell (1) Bill Watterson (1) Billy Swan (1) Blaise Pascal (1) Bob Proctor (1) Bobby McFerrin (1) Bruno Boero (1) CLUETRAIN (1) Cameron Russell (1) Caravaggio (1) Carl Rogers (1) Carla Evani (1) Carlos Castaneda (1) Carmine Gallo (1) Cartesio (1) Cesare Di Cesare (1) Cesare Pavese (1) Champoluc (1) Charles Bukowski (1) Charles Gordon (1) Charles Hazlewood (1) Charles Stanley (1) Charlie Chaplin (1) Charlie Gilkey (1) Chesley Sullenberger (1) Chip Conley (1) Chris Emdin (1) Christopher Hitchens (1) Claude Steiner (1) Clayton Christensen (1) Coach DeForest (1) Colin Wilson (1) Dale Dougherty (1) Dan Ariely (1) Dan Gilbert (1) Dan Peterson (1) Daniel M. Wood (1) Daniel Pennac (1) Daniel Tomasulo (1) Daniel Wood (1) Danny Tuckwood (1) Dante Alighieri (1) Dart Fener (1) Dave Brubeck (1) Dave Meslin (1) David Balakrishnan (1) David G. Myers (1) David Grossman (1) David Henry Thoreau (1) David Lynch (1) De Lijn (1) Debora Serracchiani (1) Deborah Keep (1) Dennis Gabor (1) Desmond Tutu (1) Don Draper (1) Don Kelbick (1) Don Sull (1) Donald Calne (1) Douglas A. Ready (1) Douglas Cartwright (1) Dylan Dog (1) Edgar Allan Poe (1) Edgar Lee Master (1) Edoardo Catemario (1) Elizabeth Gilbert (1) Elizabeth Kolber-Ross (1) Ellen Gustafson (1) Elon Musk (1) Emile Zola (1) Emiliano Salinas (1) Enric Sala (1) Enrico Letta (1) Enrico Sassoon (1) Enzo Jannacci (1) Epitteto (1) Ercole Cordivari (1) Eric Hoffer (1) Eric Lenard (1) Erica Chilese (1) Erich Fromm (1) Ernest Newman (1) Ernesto Sirolli (1) Ettore Scola (1) Eurythmics (1) Eva Di Tullio (1) Evan Williams (1) Fabio Fazio (1) Fabio Vallarola (1) Fabio Volo (1) Farid al-Din 'Attar (1) Federico Mana (1) Fjodor. Dostoevskij (1) Forrest Sawyer (1) Fran Burgess (1) Franco Califano (1) Frank Pucelik (1) Franz Kafka (1) Fred Reichheld (1) Friedrich Nietzsche (1) Fritz Perls (1) Frédéric Cozic (1) GIRLEFFECT (1) GZA (1) Gabriela Andersen-Schiess (1) Gaetano Cuffari (1) Galileo Galilei (1) Garr Reynolds (1) Genndy Tartakovsky (1) George De Mestral (1) George Kelly (1) George Kneale (1) George Miller (1) George Orwell (1) Georges Simenon (1) Gerard Hranek (1) Gerard Tellis (1) Giacomo Rizzolati (1) Gianluigi Zarantonello (1) Gianni Rodari (1) Gill Corkindale (1) Gioia (1) Giorgione (1) Giovanni Allevi (1) Giulio Pedicone (1) Giuseppe Calasanzio (1) Gloria Leung (1) Gordon Brown (1) Grace Murray Hopper (1) Graham Hill (1) Grazia Scuccimarra (1) Greg Northcraft (1) H.Q. Roosevelt (1) H.S. Jennings (1) Hal B. Gregersen (1) Harold Wilson (1) Heidi Grant Halvorson (1) Henry O. Dormann (1) Henry Staten (1) Homer Simpson (1) Howard Hughes (1) Howard Rheingold (1) Hulk Hogan (1) Isaac Newton (1) Isabel Behncke (1) Issy Sharp (1) Italo Calvino (1) Itay Talgam (1) Ivan Pavlov (1) Ivano Fossati (1) Ivo Milazzo (1) J. S. Nye Jr. (1) JK (1) Jack Benny (1) James Cameron (1) James Geary (1) James Joyce (1) Jan Carlzon (1) Jane Goodall (1) Jane McGonigal (1) Jason Green (1) Jay A. Conger (1) Jayasree Goparaju (1) Jean-Luc Godard (1) Jeff Haefner (1) Jeffrey Gitomer (1) Jeffrey H. Dyer (1) Jeremy Rifkin (1) Jim Estill (1) Johann Pachelbel (1) John F. Kennedy (1) John F. Smith (1) John Fante (1) John Galliano (1) John King (1) John Lubbock (1) John Maxwell (1) John Shook (1) John Weakland (1) Jordi Canyigueral (1) Jose Antonio Abreu (1) Joseph Chilton Pearce (1) Joseph Nye (1) Jules Renard (1) Julian Treasure (1) KENT NERBURN (1) Kahlil Gibran (1) Karen Thompson Walker (1) Ken Blanchard (1) Kiran Bir Sethi (1) Kirby Ferguson (1) L'AVVOCATO DEL DIAVOLO (1) LAS mobili (1) Lakoff e Jonhson (1) Lance Secretan (1) Lao Tsu (1) Lao Tzu (1) Lau Tzu (1) Legge di Finagle (1) Leibnitz (1) Leonardo Boff (1) Leonardo Sciascia (1) Linda Burstein (1) Linda Hill (1) Lisa Marshall (1) Lord Chesterton (1) Lori Taylor (1) Luca Maggitti (1) Lucio Battisti (1) Lucy Freedman (1) Ludwig Börne (1) Ludwig Josef Johann Wittgenstein (1) Luigi Ponziani (1) Maison Dior (1) Marc Benioff (1) Marcel Proust (1) Marcello Pamio (1) Marcia W. Blenko (1) Marco Aurelio (1) Marco Paolini (1) Margaret Heffernan (1) Margaret Neale (1) Margarita Tartakovsky (1) Marie-Louise von Fran (1) Marilyn Monroe (1) Mario Andrea Rigoni (1) Mario Monti (1) Mark Hooson (1) Mark Howell (1) Mark Pagel (1) Mark Twain (1) Mark Wilson (1) Markus Zusak (1) Marlen Haushofer (1) Martin Seligman (1) Matteo Boniciolli (1) Matthew Child (1) Matthieu Ricard (1) Mauro De Marco (1) Max Wertheimer (1) Meyer e Kirby (1) Michael Breen (1) Michael Bungay Stanier (1) Michael C. Mankins (1) Michael Fred Phelps (1) Michael Pollan (1) Michelangelo Buonarroti (1) Miklos Falvay (1) Misty Copeland (1) Mitt Romney (1) Molly Crockett (1) Moni Ovadia (1) Morten Hansen (1) Mr. Rolihlahla Dalibhunga (1) Muhammad Ali (1) Muriel Spark (1) Nichi Vendola (1) Nick Vujicic (1) Nikola Tesla (1) Nina Jablonski (1) Noreena Hertz (1) Norman Vincent Peale (1) Oliver Wendell Holmes (1) Optimum Mind (1) Otto von Bismark (1) Owen Fitzpatrick (1) Pai Mei (1) Paolo Cardini (1) Patricia Kuhl (1) Patrick Awuah (1) Patrick Hunt (1) Patti Digh (1) Patty Hansen (1) Paul Rogers (1) Paul Romer (1) Paul Watzlawick (1) Paulo Coelho (1) Pavel Florenskij (1) Pepe Rodriguez (1) Peter Crocker (1) Peter Druker (1) Peter Eigen (1) Peter Golder (1) Piero Meldini (1) Pink Floyd (1) Pino Daniele (1) Pippo Lionni (1) Plutarco (1) R. L. Stevenson (1) ROSETO.COM (1) RSA Animate (1) Raghava KK (1) Ramachandran Vilayanur (1) Randall Munroe (1) Re Mida (1) Richard Bach (1) Richard Douglas Fosbury (1) Richard Lavoie (1) Richard Wright (1) Rob Markey (1) Robben Ford (1) Robert Cialdini (1) Robert Cringely (1) Robert Frost (1) Robert Gerrish (1) Robert J. Thomas (1) Robert Kiyosaki (1) Robert Musil (1) Robert Spitzer (1) Robert Thurman (1) Robert and Michele Root-Bernstein (1) Roberto Benigni (1) Roberto Verganti (1) Robin Hood (1) Roger Federer (1) Rollo May (1) Rosa Matteucci (1) Rosabeth Moss Kanter (1) Rowan Atkinson (1) Roy Disney (1) Rudolf Nurayev (1) Rudyard Kipling (1) Ruth Benedict (1) Saffo (1) Sai Baba (1) Sally Kohn (1) Salman Khan (1) Salvatore Natoli (1) San Francesco (1) Sarah White (1) Sean Conrad (1) Sean Murray (1) Sebastian Guerrini (1) Sebastiano Maffettone (1) Sergio Caputo (1) Shakespeare (1) Shashi Tharoor (1) Sherlock Holmes (1) Silicon Valley (1) Stefan Sagmeister (1) Stephen Cave (1) Stephen Covey (1) Steve Karpman (1) Steven Pressfield (1) Susan Jeffers (1) TRECCANI (1) TalentZoo (1) Tangram (1) Tarzan (1) Tata Lucia (1) Thandie Newton (1) Thomas Alva Edison (1) Thomas Edison (1) Thomas Jefferson (1) Thomas Moore (1) Tim Bajarin (1) Tim Berners-Lee (1) Tim Goodenough (1) Timothy Ferriss (1) Timothy Prestero (1) Titti Stama (1) Tom Wujec (1) Tommaso Cerno (1) Tonino Carotone (1) Tony Buzan (1) Tony Hayward (1) Tony Schwartz (1) Totò (1) Tracy O'Connor (1) Tracy O’Connor (1) Trilussa (1) Uma Thurman (1) Vasco Rossi (1) Virgin Mary (1) Virginia Woolf (1) WWF (1) Walt Whitman (1) Walter Bonatti (1) William Blake (1) William Butler Yeats (1) William James (1) William Somerset Maugham (1) William Ury (1) Winnie the Pooh (1) Wystan Hugh Auden (1) Xerox (1) Yang Lan (1) Yoda (1) Yum Yum (1) Zaz (1) Zecharia Sitchin (1) Zenone (1) Zig Ziglar (1) blender (1) fras (1) fratelli Wright (1) iO Tillett Wright (1) john Stuart Mill (1) leader (1) pensiero positivo (1) re del Bhutan (1) rugby (1) santi (1) save the children (1) twitter (1) vivizen (1)